Is it over?

The pain is gone the anxiety is not hovering just behind the next corner. 

I know it's not completely over I will fall and I will survive! I can make it I'm strong I survived 2011.

How I did that I do not know mending my heart, my soul, finding my life, finding me, surviving university and accepting life. 

That is what I have done done the 16th of march , 2011. 

I'm not out if the woods yet but right here right know future is looking optimistic. 

I sold my flat, bought a beautiful new one, have a job interview Monday, found out a second job might be available soon. 

Yes this means I'm not to far of leaving nowhere!!! 

I have found new routes met people that se happy with themselves learned what real poverty really is and seen that even in horrible conditions people are content and happy.

I'm to spoilt for my own well being!! 

Silver rings

In december I was with my mom shopping for christmas gifts. She was so happy because I actually wished for new earings in christmas gift. This thing with buying jewellery to me has been her achillesheel since I can remember.

With jewellery as with clothes I became quite picky in my teens (to say the least, this does not mean I had style in my teens) and there was a lot of fights over why I was not wearing some of the items I was given. I am also the kind of girl that accepts gifts and don't complain (to much). At one point I was given a silver necklace form my grandmam that I remeber at that point saying this is a guys chain and being told that this is not the case. I hated that chain (still do) but shut up and wore it a couple of times to please. Years and years later I was asked why I never wore that chain or if I had lost it and I said the same thing its a guy chain.

This never ending fight and me inheriting quite alot of jewellery resulted in me and my mother coming to an agreement that she is not allowed to buy and jewellery unless I specifically ask for it. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. No Ihave not been able to point and say I want this, but I have been able to request whay type of jewellery I want (silver or gold this is, not fake cheap stuff).

Ohwell christmas it was looking at earringsI fell in love with thise clawring, not a basic everyday earing that I wished for. Anyhow today when I was downtown looking for new cool compressionsocks to wear when running Göteborgsvarvet in 2 weeks I stepped into Guldfynd to  have a look. And to my luck the clawring was on 50% sale. Guess who was happy leaving that store. Walking home i took a new route due to a running competition in town and saw that the antiqueshop was open. I stepped in to have a look at the paintings. I left the shop with two silver rings, a plain simple one from 1920 and a more elaborate from 1930.

I realized when I got home that these are my first silver rings I have bought since high school. I have been given three rings since. A silver ring from A for my bachelors of Science graduation, a gold ring I designed myself for my double bachelors and inherited my Daisy duck ring from grandma. Other than that I have bought one fake ring since high school.

Home styling

On wednesday a photagrapher is coming to my place to photograph it. No its not for a magazine (as if that ever would happen) I am actually going to put iton the market. Its time for that move that I have been pestering my friends and family about for the last ehm 24 (36) months.

To say that I have a lot of stuff and a lot of junk floating around is also an understatement. My question of today is how much crap can one person accumulate over a 6 year period???

Spring shoe shopping

I'm in desperate need of new spring shoes. All of my previous seasons shoes have ended up in the bin or are in the extreme short list for the bin (ie they are totally worn out I just have to accept it).

This weekend Freeport in kungsbacka had a shoe weekend. Give one pair to charity and get a voucher worth 150 sek to buy a new pair with.

I found a gorgeous pair of from vagabond and then I managed to fill the bikini quota for 2013. Beach 2013 I am ready!!!

Oh and a hot pink bra and a loosefit simple dress for madagascar also tagged along home.

My mom also managed to find some things.

Relax

I am currently enjoying my parents backyard in the fullest. This summer they are moving into town and into an apartment.

Photo taken yesterday, but this is my plan for today inbetween the run and packing.

Chocolatechipcookie dough sandwich chocolatechipcookie

Yes that is what I made to tonight. Am currently on a sugar high....

Vaccination part 2

Tyfoid this time.
Swallow a tablet with a glass of cold water 1h before eating. Repeat this procedure day 1, 3 & 5.

Wow oral vaccinations really involves structures and planning (45 min to go until breakfast can be served)

Shopping in France

A couple of weeks ago I went to France, Bretange for work. Will tell you more about that shortly.

On saturday we did some sighseeing in the area and had time for some shopping and cake.
Don't they look delicious??

at first I found nothing except a scarf. I forgot mine at the school and it was cold not having something around your neck. SO I bought a new one.

Then I walked into a store and if I had had the money the store would have been emptied by me, I totally fell in love with 90% of all the items.
Settled for two things.

A white blouse and a t-shirt with angels wings.

Renovations

So over easter I did some renovations in my apartment. The entrance got a facelift with some new wallpapers on the walls.

This is how it looks like now.

A little bit of shopping

Having spent the weekend in Linköping I am now all relaxed with fully charged batteries, a new haircut and colour + new items in my wardrobe.

My friend M found out on friday that she got the PhD position she had applied for and we needed to celebrate. Friday was not an option since I had a 25th birthday party to attend and she is currently in an ICLD (insanely low calorie diet).
Yesterday I had a 3 hr hairdressers appointment and after that a hangover to cure. Instead we decided to go shopping today and not for gymclothes.

The only thing I needed were basic items like eye make up remover, ankle socks and a new eye primer.

 
I found those items and:

  2 necklases on sale

 a cute singlet almost for free (ok ok I am planning to run hot summer days in this)

a shirt that had my name on it. Its monkeys and Tucans on it!!

A scarf - see above argument!

Dip dye

The downside of colouring your hair in unnatural colors. Your neck may turn a little blue....

Compressor

After a fall on the ice in the woods last week during a run. My wound I substained in my hand is not healing well. Have now decided to try a compede bandaid on it. This to try and avoid more dirty coming inside it.

Shot one

Let the oral vaccination session begin.
First on the agenda: ducoral - cholera vaccination

Next: tyfoid - that is for next week for a five day period.

After 6 weeks ducoral shot two

Then 10 week malaria, will eat these during our trip to.

My hands my hands

I do not know what I have done. But they hurt and sting!

Qoute

"You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way." - Elizabeth Taylor 

 

Anciety

I have lived for so long now with the presure over my heart and the uncertanty over when my next anciety will attack will show up, that I now don't even now how do deal with prefection.

With perfection I mean waking up and everything feels great, going for a run that also feels awsome, having breakfast good even that. My whole body feels like its in euphoria mode.

Yes Spring is finally here it is Euphoria!!

But what do I do? I start to look forthe signs, what is wrong, isn't there somedark cloud howering in the horizon of my mind. There must be something it feels wrong.

Nothing has happened for me to feel like this I should feel the misery, the panic, the anciety.

Not Happy and Calm!

Or hang on that is Exactly how I should feel and what I feel right here right now!!

Stop and enjoy it god damn it!!

Insomnia

You are not my BFF
Never have been
Never will be
Ever!

The never ending story

And then there were emptiness and pain.

When is it my turn?!

And now it begins....

The next 4 weeks will be a whirlwind. Will try to update because there are some fun, fun things planned.

Today we have a regional day at work where we are getting educated in some changes in the new educational system in Sweden since fall 2011.

Thursday I fly to France with work for 5 days.
Saturday I'm visiting some friends up north in Sweden.
Easter parents are coming for a visit. Will finally get my entrance to apartment fixed.
April fools day I head to Finland for work, then we have Madagascar planning and ending it all with E's birthday party!

What If.......Wild Animals Ate Fast Food

I just love this clip and felt that I had to share it with you,
I guess that most of you alreday have seen it on facebook, but still.