The day I turned into my old me.
Since then I have only had fun for a couple of weeks/ days.
most of the time I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate what I have turned back into!!
The loooser that needs to fight to party, that has to be grown up and mature, can never let go, never be herslef and can count on one hand the amount of guys that have shown any real interest in me.
I honestlt don't know for how much longer I can deal with this. I'm breaking down more and more for every day that goes. I try to keep my face out front, but have realized that I never meet anyones eyes anymore, I gain weight because I never really get to do what I like. I live a fake life that I don't know how to get out of.
For the last year I have lived a nightmare where I try to keep the spirit up for my friends around me, but for how much longer??
So much have happened since november emotionally and I can't tell who ever I like, I can't do what ever I like. WHEN WILL IT STOP!!!
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