A picture says more than thousand words

So what does this picture say then .....

Good days and bad days

So I was planning to go to Veracruz today to do some diving. Woke up this morning and only saw problems and no solutions.

So I decided to stay at home and continue my sampling.

Also I am not sure if I would leave here now, when/if I would come back...

3 months

It has now been over 3 months since I went through the worst day of my life!

I have not fully dealth with the chock since that day, have had some smaller depressions, but I know that when my life sort of settles down/ slows down it will come.
I just hope that when that day arrives I have some good friends to pick up the pieces of me.

My safety blanket

Since december 2006 this have been my safe place. The place where I write what I want. I know its open to the public and that all my friends that now about it can come in here and read...

But I have never mentioned people by name and never will, but now I am thinking. Is it time to move on to a new place? Leave this one behind?

Its not my safe place anymore. That someone has made sure of, I feel like I can't write what I want here anymore and then its not worth it.

But to leave so many good things behind. Password protect it yes I could, but then I might as well stop.

Or just do as I have done before leave it to rest and take it up again when I feel that I have my privacy back?

So many things I have wanted to write the last couple of weeks, but I have been held back.
And yes I do remove unwanted comments!

I am trying

Acouple of years ago a friend told me after some drastic weight loss that I need to:

"Buy a new wardrobe or gain some weight!"

M I will tell you that I am trying on both, but my new wardrobe seem to have increased in sinze since I bought it 3 weeks ago. Yes I have lost my boobs and all tops are echoing empty on the top.

Xalapa Shopping

When entering civilisation my poor credit card need to watch out. Give me 2 hrs in a shoppingmall by closing time and you can bet that I will do a good damage.

My key argument is that I actually do need everything that I bought, since my closet seem to shrink in a higher speed than it grows at the moment. And when you only bring tops for 7 days its quite hard to loose 2 withing the first month.

Singlet from forever 21

Bra to wear under al my thin clothes that I have here.

Prettty singlet for when I want to look pretty (does not happend often here).

T-shirt- yes  this is in honour of my dads heart. I fell as soon as I saw it.

 

Oh yhea maybe computer stickers are not necessary, but my new baby will need some TLC when it arrives...

A glimpse of hope

This week have not been good mentally. I don`t kow why, but after getting back from Xalapa everything have just felt not right.

The monkeysv are behaving like angels and the reserach is going good, but there is something that bothers me. I just can not seem to be able to put the finger on what it is,

It may be due to the phone being silent, but that I should be used to know, it might be that lately the phone has made me smile quite often and this week when I need it didn`t.

Have been wanting to go to the beach for ever and turn out some friends went without telling me. Instead it now looks like I am going camping in the rainforest.

I have also booked a camping trip in July with some people outside my house AND contacted a diveshop in Veracruz. Will go there next week and book somedays so that I can go out on the water.

So overall the week has been good, why I am then not feeling happy?

Time for Pinacolada yet?

La casa de Los Tersos shopping

I know that this is the place during my stay here in Catemaco that I will do most shopping. Not to mention deplete their Iced tea storage ( I hope you are stocking up on Berry blues).

So yes I have done more shopping there since my first week in Catemaco.

What I bought was a beautiful tunic with tigers on.

A purple dress that is perfect for the weather here.

A brightly coloured bracelet that I wear most days, the turqoise one I got when I visited Nanciyaga with my supervisor the other week.

Are you calling me fat? Big bones!

EKG?

Frogs, frogs, frogs

Capture and health checkup

Emotions

Due to everything that has happened this spring it feels like my emotions are on a never ending rollercoaster. In one day I go from happy to tired, to anxious to happy to restless to god knows what.

A main struggle that I have here in Mexico is that it is really hard for me to exercise. I'm used to clear my head through exercise, but the only way I can do that here is running. And the  running options are scarse (I have found one that may be suitable).

Another thing is that I just can't pick up the phone and talk to some when feeling the urge. M I miss our daily phone calls even though my phone is quite happy to rest a little...

Dominic Balli - American Dream (Official Music Video) (HD) [feat. Sonny ...

I just have to share this music video with you.
Its a friends brothers band & I just fell in love with it when I heard it the first time

Temperatures dropping

You can tell it has been alot cooler here for the last couple of days:

1. I have ordered a HOT cappucino two days in a row
2. I sleep with my sleeping bag ontop of me and don't wake up thinking I am being boiled alive
3. Its a dilemma each night to decide if I want the fan on or off and in what direction I want the air in that case to blow
4. I have used a cardigan at night
5. I regretted not wearing a longsleeved jumper when going to the monkeys at 6:30 am
6. I am starting to suspect I didn't bring enough long pants

Gone with the wind

My dearly belowed Puma sportcap is gone.

I bought it in 2008 when I was going to Scotland to go hiking.

It survived:

•   the heavy rain of scotland
• The glaring sun on the golfcourse
• Minor hikes around Sweden
• A spider monkey attack

It did not survive:

• The wind down at the Malecom when sitting on the back of the car

Small town luxury

Today I decided to try a local beautyshop. I got a manicure and am so pleased that someone finally took care of my nails.
They have a though life here without my weekly at home manicures. I didn't bring all my stuff and don't really feel like buying all the stuff that I need when I can get a decent one here for 100 pesos.

Next time I think I will also get a pedicure to treat my feet some, at the moment my feet are in such a bad shape that I don't want anyone to touch them ...

Google translate

I just want to dedicate a post to google translate.

You are saving our life right now when L is away doing uni work.

Yes my Spanish is not as good as I would wish it to be and E & M's english is a little better, but we do get stuck now and then. I know it gives you the wrong words now and then and the grammar we are not supposde to talk about. But with this litte tool our language barrier is diminished.

Its not all about remembering what we trained and the damn pronounciation!

NOt sure why I like my "S" so much when trying to communicate in spanish. I seem to have some tix on if unsecure f the word just add an random "s" to it

Mexican quality

I was just attackeight leg by a toiletseat while on the bathroom.
Thank god I am not planning to get undressed for a hot guy anytime soon, or going to the beach the next couple of days, because I suspect that this bruise will almost be as good as the one from my friends stairs during their wedding last year (I had three steps inprinted on my right leg including a shoe imprint on my left foot)

Impressed

I'm impressed over myeslf. There has been a thing I have been trying to do for years and when I arrive to Mexico I do it without a second tought...

The great thing with crossing the Atlantic ocean

Reeses peanutbutter cups!!

My indulgence over here and also when friends ship them over here from the states (doew not happen that often unfortunately)

Absent minded?

I just tried to cook dinner by putting the plate on the stove and the fryingpan next to it....

Luckily this was diiscovered before the hotplate got to warm.

Privacy

Yes I do have my blog open for everybody to read!

This is me my thoughts and reflections. If I do happend to write something you don't like deal with it.

But I DO belive in courtesy of felling blog memebers if asked politely to remove a post/ link/ name etc. I have done this on one or two occasions.

So why would there be such a problem in removing one of my bloglinks from your webpage?! If I ask politely?

Homesickness

Homesickness is a bitch!

Thank god it sometimes disapears as fast as it arrives....

Intrusion?

That I'm not a huge fan of the churchbells here in Catemaco would be an understatement.
Today they started banging again & as usual I got really annoyed.

Turn around to look at what is going on from my spot at the internet cafe.

Its a funeral precision leaving the church with two coffins. Suddenly I felt like an intruder watching the procision out of the church from my table with my jug of icedtea.

Its saturday
the sun is shining
its Carneval
and some people have to go through burying two of their loved ones...

Octoberfest 2011

The ticket is booked
Accommodation is fixed
Tent booked

Now we just need to wait for september to arrive and prepare to drink that phD into oblivion! Oh and we also have to celebrate that the 20s are behind us....

I can't belive I am saying this

but I think I am told old for this. Or atleast my body.

Having an unplanned drinking night & then working in the heat all day is not what my body can take anymore.

AND it looks its on for tonight again (I'll try to stick to everyother water tonight)

Howler monkey

This is what I think about my odors..

Mac and Cheese

I think I will survive my time in Mexico....

To hot for clothes....

Shoe stores in Catemaco

AS you all know I love, love love shoes.

As i happens I seem to have moved to the shoemecca of Mexico. I am born in the shoe mecca of Sweden so let me tell you I feel right at home.

Apparently Catemaco is the town with most shoestores per sqm in the central area....

Qoute of the day

"Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. " ~ Good Will Hunting

Tim Burtons design?!

If Tim Burton ever would design a house I imagine it to look something like this...

Check out the aircon in the bottomfloors bathroom...

Oh and yhea there is another house built into this house in the back where some of my spider monkey friends live.

Weather forecast

"I wanna make you sweat"

The Carrie diaries

The Carrie diaries
By: Candance Bushnell

Love, love, love. Carrie in senior year. Need I say more? I bought this one on the aiport and this was the best travelbook. When in Canada I almost bought the sequel "summer in the city", but decided to wait until its out in paperback.

So Carrie as a teenager is it anygood, yes I think so. You get a little of the background of how was she was as a teenager. What it was the made her move to New York and what her dreams where then. I can tell you that even in her early years she was struggeling with the boys.

Think that is why I like Carrie so much, all the bor problems. I can see myself in her in som many ways.

I give this book a five.

Pagecount: 602 + 428 = 1030

Sanitation

I am wonder when I will ever feel clean again. I mean really fresh and clean like you tend to feel when leaving a shower.

Here that feeling lasts as long as the water in the shower is running down your body. As soon as you leave the shower you are yet again covered with dust.

Förflutenhetns landskap

Oh my god where will I start. What a drag. A historical piece over where words and customs came from throughout history. It has taken med no joke over three years to finish this book.

But I gave it to mom afterwards because I think it is a book that she will enjoy. I didnot!

I gets a Zero.

page count: 567 + 35 (311) = 602

The wait is almost over!

Sleep talking

Apperently I have started talking in my sleep again. Thank god the girls I live with don't understand Swedish....

Never trust a Mexican

If you ask a Mexican person if the food (salsa) is hot or not.

DO NOT TRUST THEM if they sayhe NO. If t say YES count on it being burning hot.

I like spicy food, but with moderation. Just had a wonderful eggsandwich with a "non-spicy" salsa. It tasted good, but I'm happy that I was suspicious and only took a little of the salsa onto my sandwich.

The pirates daughter

The pirate's daugther
By: Margaret Cezair-Thompson

Predictable, good, can't put the book down. Thats three phrases to describe this book with. And I also guess that from now on I'm a book thief!

I "burrowed" this one from the resort in Egypt. Just never mentioned when I would be handing it back (woops).

Yes it was a while since I read it, but for a beach/airplane book this was the perfect one. You have the drama, the love, the war, the rich and famous, the poor and suffering all taking place on Jamacia and a little in New York City. Not a masterpiece but well worth reading when relaxing on your holiday.

I give it a three due to the predictedness of the book.


page count: 168 + 399= 567

Gone by the wind

Forgot to attach my underwear properly to the clothes line on the roof today.

I have managed to figure out that 3 socks am missing, the questions is how many panties are now flying around in Catemaco that belong to me??

The socks are neetly attached to the neighbours backyard tree (they have a dodgy backyard though)

If is a trend what does four make it? a fact?!

SO 2008 I ripped 2 pair of jeans over my butt, 1 pair 2009, 1 pair 2011 and to be honest I think there actually is a pair from 2010 also, but I have no picture proof of them..

These pants were not made for a balconyyoga session (ie climbing on railing)

Catemaco shopping

Yesterday I opened the big spender wallet. I bought a beautiful bowl to keep my toothbrush and makeup in and a bracelet.

And no I didn't go bankrupt.

Why don't you crawl back into you hole?

For years and years and years you have played with my heart. When I said stop enough you suddenly got serious. Or correction as serious as you ever can be!

Now I can with easy mind that my heart and head have moved on for good. SO why do you keep pooping like a fucking jack in the box all the time?!

Oh well I see you as a good distraction for my head right now, at least it got me thinking of something else....

The world at my feet

BUt why am I feeling pushed into a corner then? I need to move, clear my head, but can't.

• The heat
• The Danger
• The unkown area

Longing

Honey I miss you!

Didn't think it was possible, but can't wait to hear your voice!

A bugs life

What did the tree ever do to you?

Beauty come from the inside

..... Need no more words.

Getting hot in here

I have been struggeling a little with the heat here. That is until I realized that I'm off a couple of degrees. I thught the temperature were around 28 degrees in the sun with 80 % humidity.

Today I found out that we have around 36 degrees in the shade with 50 % humidity. That means that its over 40 degrees in the sun. So no don't think I'm struggeling anymore its just normal to feel like I'm melting away in these temperatures.

80 pesos

Mexico I think you will kill y shoe addiction. The upside is that I won't be buying highheels, but leather sandals en masse.
For 80 pesos I got the most comfortable sandals I think have ever owned....

Lost in translation

Going shopping in foreign countries are always interesting. You never really know how the stores will look like, what they will have but most of all what things are called.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping. I had a Mexican friend with me helping me when I was i doubt. I still managed to buy some ehm interesting things.

1. Body lotion instead of body wash
2. Instant cream coffe instead of instant coffe
3. Pre toasted bread instead of toast
   

Rainforest

Things you shouldn't say if you wanna pretend to be smart

After a couple of weeks of neotiations with my parents I finally got them to install skype so that we easily can commnicate while I'm over here in Mexico.

Their computer didn't have a microphone so they had to go and buy one. Nothing wierd here you think.

2 days later I get a call from them on skype and can't hear anything. Through the chat I get the following message:

" We have just bought a microphone for the computer, but haven't installed it yet!"

Why then is my question would you try and calling me before installing the microphone?!

View

Say hi to my view for the next 3½ months....

Bag

What is it with traveling and exploding bags?

As soon as you get to a new place and open up your suitcase it takes mere seconds and it looks like someone detonated a bomb inside your bag?

Now I need to get it all back together again for the 9½hr bustrip I'm taking tonight.

Coffe addiction

Mmm Mocha frappe

Hiking shoes

For my Mexico trip a friend of mine told me to get a pair of hiking shoes instead of using my hikingboots. She had felt because of the climate and the prolonged wear of the boots that it got to hot and hence she bought a thinner pair in Mexico.

So instead of lugging a pair of heavy hiking boots with me I went and bought a pair of Haglöfs hiking shoes. After only having worn them while flying this far it feels good. We need to get used to eachother, but that will happend soon enough I'm sure of.

Bed reflections

For the last 2 months I have ben traveling around quite a bit in Sweden. I started to think in how many places I have slept and came up with that from march 1st I have slept in approx. 15 different beds in hotels, friends, family etc.

For the last 2 weeks before I left Sweden I only stayed 2 nights in the same bed. You can imagine that I am looking forward to monay when I arrive in Catemaco and get my "own" bed to sleep in and my "own" place that I can have as basecamp for the following 3½ months.

In Mexico City

I arrived safe and sound last night. Today I started the day with a breakfast on my friends balcony in the sun watching the view over Mexico City. After that we headed out and downtown where we went to the archological museum and then walked around.

Ended the night at some friends house where it was xbox games with tacos and beer in the agenda.
Now sleep time to recover some energy for all the tours we are taking tomorrow.

2 days

i can't belive that in less than 48 hrs I will be sitting on a flight across the Atlantic ocean towards a new and exciting adventur.

Before then I just need to organise some more stuff...

Hybrids

Sometimes my students ask me questions that I can not answer and there is not enough time (or place) for them to look up the answer during class. In cases like this and if it is something that may be relevant to the topic I promise to look into it for their next class.

I was a subteacher for a colleague before easter break and got a question about crossing horses and zebras with each other, what its called, if they are fertile ect etc. I have now learned they are called a zorse (zebroid).

I have now spent 4 hours reading about animal hybrids and I get more andmore scared what crossings and breedings programs there actually exist.

At the moment it is li/ti-tigon/liger crossings I'm reading up on.

Think I might have to dedicate a full lecture on this!

sacrifises

2010 I left my life as it was in Sweden to move to Australia to study. I left love in Sweden actually when I left I had two different guys in my life. The weeks moving up towards the move was all cheery and I didn't look back when I left.

At this time I didn't even really reflect over love and being single. I was getting an adventure of my life in Australia. Why would I ever say no to that for a guy? I have never looked back and never regretted my choices I made then.

2002/2003 I fell in love with another guy, but he was never available for me since I chickened out when he was single. I went home to Sweden and when I came back he had found a girl. It just wasn't meant to be and even though I sometimes wonder what might have happened if I had had more curage I still accept the outcome.

Since then love has bin a part of my life, but unfortunately also alot of heartache where I have had to stick, glue, scotchteip, amputate parts of my heart. For three years I have healed it back together letting rest after the lastest heartbreak. No that guy was not Mr Right but I think he is one of those that hurt me the most with all the dishonesty and twotiming.

Now 2011 I have been given an oportunity of a lifetime to go to Mexico for 4 months to study primates in their real environment (the rainforest). I have also been on 3 of the best dates in my life since march (no no high speed dating here). For some reason I can't be happy that I'm going away. To much have happened in my life since march that I don't know what is up or down anymore.

Life

What doesn't kill you make you stronger.

Hell then I must the the strongest woman in the world right now.

Over confident

Since my dads accident I have for some obvious reasons lost quite a bit of weight. Not eating for 3 days kind of does that to you. After that I have managed to get sick twice which have increased my weightloss.

Feeling confident since my favorite pair of jeans is falling of that all my other older pairs would fit me perfectly I yesterday pulled out my favorite 3/4 jeans and tried to get them on.

Mind you these have always bin bodyhugging, but trying to put them on after a heavy workout was asking alittle to much. Thismorning though they are feeling a little less tight.

Heaven

For the first time this year I'm sitting on the verenda drinkingmy morgning coffe listening to the birds singing while working on the computer

Mood swings

From nowhere I hit the bottom. Feeling all alone hating my life as it is.

I know I know I should be all happy and cheery going shortly to Mexico for 4 months, dating an awsome guy. But after my run I felt so lonely and just hating how things are right now.

Got a message friends where telling me they were going out for a drink, due to the distance there is no way I could have joined them. BUt it all made me feel so lonely and hating all the evenings I sit at home.

I know that its just me and if I want to change it I can only do it myself. But how?? I have awsome friends, but it seeems like I only meet people that don't really enjoy the good times. The few that do already have their awsome lives and I have to fight to be in them (that is what I feel like).

Oh well fingerscrossed that 4 months in Mexico will change me to become the person that I long to be again. Ohh How I miss my Australian life right now.

Amazing

One day I will take photos like this: National geographic best photograph april 2010

Winter by the ocean

After I had my first date with the Dr I headed out for a walk with a friend along the beach. Today I cleaned my memorycard and found these pictures.

Even though spring has arrives these images are just amazing:

magine what some sand, water and salt can create

Split brain

Right now I think that would be a good thing for me. Especially if one halv would deal with all my emotions and thoughts that isspinning through my head in rapid speed.

The other half would then deal with all the practical things that I need to get sorted before I leave for Mexico in 2 weeks time.

At the moment its all a mess spinning through my head and its causing me insomnia

Tax 2010

I have just completed my taxes for 2010 and handed that in.

Taxman will you please give me a good refund in June?

3 years

It took a while,

but was sooo worth the wait

2 weeks

Please tell me the waiting is over tomorrow

Ego boost

Is currently visiting a friend in Jönköping and we decided to go shoppning at A6 centre. While standing in line to get lunch a man came up asking me in english when the centre were closing. Nothing wrong or wierd with that.

AFetr I had purchased my lunch and was heading upstairs to the tables with my food tray the same man stopped me and asked me out for a date. He told me that he was moving to Jönköping and would love to go out with me someday.

He loved my grace, elegance and style. -I took this as a H U G E compliment since I had just traveled 2 hrs in a car, don't know when I brushed my hair last (guess it was when I washed it) and yhea just feeling plain old me over all.

I told him that I wasn't living in the town and that I'm moving to Mexico in three weeks. He then asked me when I was coming back and if I wouldn't give me his number anyway.

Me being me I told him sorry, but no (he was to short for me).

But this is just the ego boost that I needed now.

Dad is finally home from the hospital. Now I just have to get rid of this cold so that I can travel home to see him.

Amazing

Its amazing how much a SMS can warm your heart and calm you down.

Wonderful weekens

I have just completed an awsome relaxing weekend.

Ended friday night with an After work session in Skövde that turned into an all nighter with E.

Saturday I had a sleep in until 9:30 am and then a long breakfast. After that we walked over to a friends house and the kids got to play all day. Then walked back past my friends boyfriends dairyfarm where we said hi until heading home to make homemade pizza.

Ended the night in the TV couch at E's place.

Today we got up had breakfast and then headed out to watch birds at Hornborgar sjön and after that we had lunch at Falkköping ost.

Coffe and cake at the parents in law (not mine) and now its tv night on the agenda.

I have escaped upstrairs shortly though (need a break from the kids and company)